feels good to finally have it out, i worked on it for about a week. i had no prior html/css knowledge (or plan, hence why it took so long) & even though it ended up pretty simple i still feel happy with what i accomplished & like it's somewhere i'd want to write.

i was orignally going to give this an extra bit of story & maybe i still will but for the most part i think what i've done is good & it doesn't need anything else. you can figure it all out from what's here (not that i expect anyone too anyway but maybe one day...)

and boy those severance writeups took it out of me. you'll be getting low-effort blogs like this for a few days to come. full blown analysis like that is really fun to do & it definitely deepened my love for severance but i don't want to start expecting myself to do that for everything i watch. brief notes will do just fine.

well, after writing all that on the ratings page about how i feel about rating, i'm thinking of starting it up again. this time i'll be rating from a point onwards instead of going back and updating things with my current opinions.

i might not be fully formatted as a human being yet, but compared to where i was at say the start of last year i've grown a fucking lot and am capable of a lot more. meaning that i'll be able to actually form a fully fledged opinion that i can hopefully look back on and go "this is good, i like that".

and that's all i want my ratings to be. short-hands for opinions, because my logs are growing so big that a "like" is so many things i can barely sort through them. i want people to be able to come to my page and see what kind of a person i am through what i like instantly, instead of seeing that i like five nights at freddys 3.

i've not been in the mood for any games recently but i'm thinking i'll come back to it with a playthrough of STALKER. it's been trapped in my backlog for who knows how long & sounds like it fits my tastes perfectly. i've also been watching texhnolyze which if it stays as good as it has been will stay an easy ten. so i'm thinking whichever of those gets finished first will be the re-starting point/date (onwards) for ratings.

little side tangent: texhnolyze is so beautiful. it's everything i've ever wanted in an anime. i love how much it lingers & how fucking meaningful every shot is. i love the characters & especially the animation style. i'm really glad i am finally watching it & i hope STALKER gives me similar butterfly feelings when i start going through it later today. the last time i fell in love with the animation & style of something this quickly was LAIN btw.

and you know what? i know it doesn't matter. i know rating shit is stupid & pointless. i know that. but i care anyway and i want to show my reflections & thoughts to others, even if they're just snapshots of what i thought when i finished it, because right now i just "like" too many things. i'm clearly capable of using a ranking system anyway since my "likes" exist and since i seem to want to so bad?

so yeah. thanks for being on this site. i am a complete mess right now & my priorities are out of whack. i have a meeting at a job centre tommorow which i hope will get my life back on track. i guess if i were to armchair analyse myself, i'm worried that after i get a job & my life changes yet again i will have less energy for the things that matter to me, so i want to start showing myself how much they mattered.