first off, i kind of hate that attitude. you're telling me everything you talk about is super fucking important you smartass? if someone cares enough to put their rating system in their bio who are you to tell them what they think & feel is meaningless?

secondly, good question & good point; but it's my blog & i get to pick the topics. i'll probably reuse this song again because i love it, plus this topic is really relevant to my online presence in logging websites.

i'm sorry to be the one to tell you but we don't do that "oops hehe im rambling"-after-talking-about-something-you-like-for-2-paragraphs shit here. this is an ACTUAL ramble. it's long & it's for nobody but me but other people can still hear it.

so, what do i actually think about rating?

it's cool. it's awesome. having a short-handed way of showing how you feel about a game is useful & an amazing decorative feature. great for dorks like me who love categorising things!

• i change my ratings around too much

this was a huge problem for me and probably the single biggest driving factor for me to ditch them all-together.

instead of hopping on a game or watching a movie i would spend my time changing ratings around to match my current feelings because i'm not the kind to be able to let something like that stay as a snapshot of myself. it HAS to be up to date, in my silly head! making this site was a good way of combating that because i am aware it will always be a snapshot of myself. that's why i gave it the story i did!

• they retroactively affect my feelings on works

kind of ties into the last one but the problem with game-ifiying something as complex as human emotion (or one of many) is that there was direct visual comparison of my feelings to others. of course logically this consensus of opinion is meaningless but psychologically it does affect something.

if i saw someone rate a game i liked highly & thought their ratings looked good i would go "why didn't i rate it that if i agree?" & change it. if i saw someone i like rate something negatively i would go "why don't i agree?" & let my worst impulses take over until there are enough nitpicks in my mind for me to match their rating. this is a shitty mindset that caused me a lot of grief & wasted time so i'm glad i noticed it so i could break it!

• i can't find a good system

there just isn't one that can capture how my thoughts fluctuate because for there to be one there has to be stable thoughts & feelings on those things. if you start asking me my opinions on my most beloved pieces of art my brain will not hesitate to internally tear them to shreds even if i still really love them.

"so is it a 5? well no maybe 4.5 fits more... but i love it enough to put it to a 5... but it's kinda cringe so a 4... but does that matter?" circa fucking infinity.

i just think it's fun as i said before. there's a neat joy in seeing someone give kingdom hearts a 4.5 or a 5 and knowing they enjoyed it & i want to share in that joy of showing off how you feel.

& as you can tell, i've really tried! i really have! and i want to keep trying! so maybe one day you'll notice ratings popping in and out again, maybe i'll let them sit as snapshots of opinions from all the stuff i experience from a certain point onwards, i don't really know!

but what i do know is that my joy in participating in logging websites isn't going away & a big part of that is showing off how you feel about games. & i do feel things about them! they're just really unstable and easily swayed in the specific form of a number!

see why i currently only use the "like" button on logging websites now? even that might be too much for me honestly, but i feel like i've learned to just let "like" and "don't like" sit in as broad categories as possible & to not fuss over them too much.